~Useless Group Members~

i can't beliff how some ppl can be such parasites.. i dont mean to be bitchy but im pretty pissed off at one of my group members.. i spent 5 straight hours yesterday getting her part working.. got 3/4 of it working.. 5 hours i spent.. compared to the 5 weeks she was given to do it.. which amounted to ABSOLUTELY nothing! she only had the GUIs(graphical user interface.. ie the front end) which wasnt much to shout about.. n i helped her design it in the first place.. there was NOTHING functioning at all.. all it did was sat there.. not to say sitting pretty aso! wasted 5 hours of my life when i was supposed to be doing my other assignment.. okie.. thats not bad enuff.. i had to go back n have dinner with my mom as it was her last nite here with me.. so i asked her to go fix up the GUI n send me the same nite.. but noooo.. nothing.. it was due that day.. my part n the other guys part was ready di.. only hers.. so nvm.. a day late 10% i dont mind if i can get something working.. and guess wat.. today.. she doesent even show up.. no files.. no calls.. nothing.. so fine.. derek n i just did our parts.. i put in wat i did last nite for her part n passed it up.. theres individual marks for coding the SQL n stuff as well.. needless to say we dint print anything to pass up for her.. not that she did any real coding anyway.. mite as well pass it up under my name.. *sheeeessh* *steam emitting from ears* derek n i had to virtually run to pass it up at the office before it closed.. we just made it in time.. my goodness.. how can her conscience can be clear when she sees other ppl working their asses off and she has nothing to show and doesent bother to go learn stuff.. *shakes head* i've got nothing to say anymore.. fed up di..

~Nice Lecturers!~
YEAH YEAH.. i managed to delay my presentation yet another week!! haha.. not on purpose tho.. coz i was supposed to present last week but i couldnt make it.. so i called her last wed and asked if i could present another time.. she said either this week or next.. so.. today.. i called her again.. to ask whether it would be better for me to present this week or next (keeping my fingers crossed hoping she would say next coz i havent done ANYTHING!) n she did! hahah.. so i got another week!!
lene: yeah.. i did think about doing the culture talk.. it was on my 'list'.. =)

ohh.. another exciting thing!! i got this oracle assignment(a bloody irritating database programming lang).. its actually due on friday.. and because we have a useless group member(the SAME person as my other group *fainted*) n all of us had the other major assignment(due tomolo) to finish.. we have done close to nothing on oracle!! this morning i had a tute..and it seems that alot of ppl have been asking the lecturer (greg) about late penalties(ie marks deducted for passing it up a day late etc.. ) so Greg said that he would negotiate with the other person in charge so that Greg would pick up the assignments at 9am monday morning "nudge nudge wink wink" (yes he actually said that.. haha) and i just checked webct.. HES PICKING IT UP ON MONDAY!! yeah yeah!! extra weekend to work on it!! who cares that i have to wake up at like 8 to pass it up.. kekeke.. TWO extra days! =p

okie.. now have to go back to my Java assignment.. which is due tomolo.. my parts done.. but i think my hopeless group member's part is not functionin at all.. :( there goes my hopes for high marks this sem.. *sniff*

~Presentation~

People, people.. i need help.. i've got a presentation for my general education(communication skills) on thurs.. its a 10 min presentation on any topic.. i've been so busy with my course assignments that i havent reallie given it much thought.. and now i cant decide wat to do!! sheep suggested doing something on softoys (who gives them.. who has them.. relative cuteness).. n i tot i could do something on chinese zodiac(animal cycle).. maybe something about how it all came about.. the characteristics of each animal.. relate it to famous ppl.. i dunno... wat do u guys think?! any ideas? Thursdays 2 days away!!

~Dawn and Hope~

hmmm..been so busy with work n trying to spend some time with my mom that i neglected to mention that i bought 2 new FISHES!! =) they are just ADORABLE.. ones a redcap(i think thats wat its called).. white with like a red cap(think thats y its called redcap *bimbo look*) haha.. and the other is an orange n white fantail.. i've had fishes before.. as i told mark.. this are fishes 8 and 9 alredi within the pass 4 years!! ok.. before u start calling me fish killer.. let me explain.. ekeke.. the first 3(heaven angel n sunshine) i was a newbie.. and i believe that the salesperson did not fully inform me about wat i needed to do before i got the fish.. and that the fish was alredi sick.. coz 1 died within a nite and the other 2 within a week.. =( so sad.. the first one dint get a proper burial but yinfu took me to bury the other 2 under a tree in uni.. poor fishies.. then the next two i got when my sis was still working here(2 yrs ago).. i let her have(name) one.. keke.. mine was called piglet n hers was called buffy.. buffy was huge.. but quite dumb coz dint know how to eat one.. piglet would just gobble everything up! then about a month before she left buffy got REALLIE sick and died.. it was so scary.. the eyes n body were all puffed up! *shiver* there was nothing we could do to save it.. there isnt a vet for fishes! then when i went back at the end of the yr i passed piglet to travis to look after.. n she died.. *sniff* then last march i bought another 2 fishes.. named hope and faith.. wat i felt i needed at that time.. they were reallie cute.. (even tho i keep mixing them up!) they were the most tahan lasak.. were with me until i passed them to trav(AGAIN!) when i went back for summer.. keke.. travs not very good with goldfishes i reckon.. poor dears.. but well.. no one else stayed summer and it was very nice of him to take them in.. but yeah.. he dint wanna tell me tat faith n hope dint make it.. until i came back .. n he dint return my bowl to me until recently.. =P well.. anyway.. yeah.. on wednesday.. my mom n me went to the petshop and purchased 2 cute lil dears.. my mom insisted on naming the orange one dawn.. i dint wanna name the redcap Hope coz i dint wan it to be replacing the other Hope.. but as mom said.. they go well together.. dawn n hope.. and i think so too..

with every new dawn comes new hope..

i think deep down inside.. hope is wat drives us.. we work hard at uni, hoping to get good grades which we hope can get us a well paying job.. we do certain things.. hoping that it will make us and certain ppl happy.. we work hard at work.. hoping to get a pay raise or recognition for our work.. almost anything we do can be said to have an ulterior 'hope'.. yes? no?

well.. i hope i survive this year and emerge a better stronger person.. =P

~Movie Quote~

Watched a dvd tonite with mom!! keke.. even tho was damn stressed and had work to do, decided to spend 2 quality hours with mom watching a movie.. keke.. Been feelin abit guilty coz i've been so busy with my assignments and stuff that i havent been able to spend much time with her.. and shes been a SAVIOUR!! if she wasnt here.. i think my place would be an absolute mess and i would'nt be eating properly.. would either be eating out or junking or sandwich or cereal all the time.. haha.. reallie lucky that she came at this time.. =P ohh.. and she extended her stay another week! HOPEFULLY i will be able to spend more time with her the next week..
oh.. before i ramble off track.. yeah.. watched this dvd (which i borrowed a week ago n is due tomolo) called "It had to be you".. its an old movie.. one of those cute love stories.. main storyline(wat i got of it) is about how it only takes an instance to fall in love.. well.. not exactly an instance la.. a short period of time .. in the movie it was a weekend.. and how sometimes its meant to be.. =) anyway.. got this quotes from it and tot they were sweet

"A heart that loves will stand the test of time. It has the strength to wait because it has no fear of time. It knows only that it loves and will do so forever.."

This quote is pretty close to the heart.. as i believe in it.. that if u reallie love someone.. its forever.. yes.. u may love other ppl after that.. but the feeling that u have for someone.. it'll alwiz be there (unless they go and do something absolutely HORRIBLE.. then u hate them.. yeap.. thin line between love n hate)..


"If you write about events in life you can't control, it helps to make them bearable.."
one of the reasons i started blogging.. keke.. to write the emotions down somewhere.. to let it all out.. (and also to stop irritating my poor frenz with all my whining =P)

ermm.. i guess thats it for now.. its 2 am now.. tired.. going to bed.. nite folks..

~Ramblings of a stressed mind~

ARGHH!! i never thought that i would be THIS stressed over skool work.. ohmigod.. im falling asleep over my computer yet i cannot go to sleep coz i KNOW i still have work to do.. but then i have to be nice n fresh for a presentation at NINE tomolo.. n the group members of another one of my assignment are totally HOPELESSS.. have to guide them in everything!! i mite as well just do the whole bloody thing myself!! n theres something due THIS THURSDAY N next to nothing is done yet!! ARGH!! i feel like crying.. but i know its not going to be any use.. its just going to make me more tired.. make my eyes swell and basically screw me up even more.. its not only work.. i have no idea where my life is going.. half the time im not even sure about how my emotions are anymore.. i just feel so lost.. im just doing wats required of me at that particular time.. im just too tired to think.. actually im too tired to be here.. i dont think im making much sense anymore.. comes from staring the pc for too long at one go.. i think im going to be bed..

~Dream Haikus~

One cold christmas Eve,
In my dreams we're together,
You came back to me.

You held me to you,
whispered that you were sorry,
begged for forgiveness.

Then you broke my heart,
told me its only tonight,
tommorrow it all ends.

I tasted it all,
The sweet of your lips on mine,
The salt of our tears.

Lips met hungrily,
Hands roamed and discovered, as
tears fell unheeded.

I knew it was wrong,
I shut my eyes through it all,
and let my heart soar.

It was all perfect,
The union of two bodies,
bonding of two souls.

Cuddled in your arms,
I fell asleep with a smile,
I felt safe and loved.

I woke with a start,
I felt the chill of the air,
felt the empty bed.

It was all a dream,
Cold reality hit me,
I'm alone again.


* okie.. i did NOT come up with this haikus in my misery.. keke.. it was reallie a dream i had last nite.. wanted to write a short haikus on it but it just flowed.. yes i was a little disorientated n lost in the morning.. but it was a good dream.. i was happy.. no regrets! =) but the dream the nite before was EVEN better.. keke.. that one i woke up with a smile on my face.. =) but that one i keep in the privacy of my mind.. =P

~Permission To Shine by Bachelor Girl~

Hey, what would you say
If I can't play the hero tonight
Cos lately I've been feelin' like
I can't get anything right

I've been fading into the woodwork again
And I'm feelin' like I just wanna hide
But guess what
I'm gonna try something just a little bit different this time

^Chorus^
I'm gonna give myself permission to shine
I'm gonna shine so bright
Gonna make every head wanna turn
You're finally gonna see me
Give myself permission to shine
Gonna light up the night
Shine a little of my light on the world

I've been crazy
I've been holdin' myself back for so long
But I've got so much I can give
Don't wanna be afraid to be wrong

You know I'm not too good at too many things
But I've been gettin' real good at gettin' down on myself
But guess what
I'm gonna try to break free from this prison I"ve built

^Chorus^

Oh, that's right
I'm gonna try something just a little bit different this time

^Chorus^

(Give myself permission to shine)
I wanna light up the night
Shine a little of my light on the world

*Thoughts*
Heard this on radio tonite.. thought that the lyrics were quite suitable to what i wanna do.. keke.. give myself permission to SHINEEEE.. shine like the bright bright sun.. shine like a bright star in the sky..
ookay.. maybe not.. dowan to stick out like a sore tumb.. =P but yeah.. anyway.. rambling.. as usual..

~Sassy New Look!~

my blog got a sassy new look! =P btw.. it wasnt done on purpose.. i was fooling around with the html that day.. wanted to add the 'previous posts' thingie on the sidebar.. but then dunno wat i did accidently deleted my 'archives' link.. ahaha.. so decided to give my blog a new look.. =p havent had time to play with the colours tho.. bogged down with assignments at the moment.. the stress is mounting.. my eyes are dying.. n my brain is functioning at a gradually slower pace(alredi slow to start with.. now cham lo) keke.. well.. after week 12.. hopefully if i dont burst of frustration from my malfunctioning code.. ahhaha.. =P

~Snapshots from Melbourne~



Sheep n me..



Cheen, Ling n me..



Right before we left.. =


in the airplane on the way home..

~My Blog~

I realised that my entries here are usually quite depressing..n mostly about 'thoughts and desires' that i know i cannot fulfill =\ n i'm pretty sure those that know me personally have an inkling of the 'cause' of it all.. kekeke.. well.. thanks everyone for the support.. i dont mean to be so stubborn.. keke.. i know it can get sickening to keep repeating stuff n telling someone something but they just refuse to listen properly.. kekeek.. well.. ermm.. i would like to say im absolutely free of blues now.. but i would be lying huh? keke.. i'm trying.. reallie trying this time.. i dont want to go down a road thats going nowhere.. nor do i wan to lose myself in the past..

so lyn's looking to the future.. pondering wats in store for her.. keeping her fingers crossed n hoping for the best ya! =P

~Work, work, work~

my eyes are popping out of my head di.. this comes from staring at the comp for too long at one go!! =brain freezing up on me.. keke.. dunno wat to type.. oh well.. will just go fill my tummy =P

~Pics~

some pics of sheep n meee!! =)



after pancakes at the rocks.. (YUM!)



Max Brenner's.. wahh.. chocky heaven maaannnn.. *swoon*



after ribs at Bondi.. after the piggys had fried mars bar..


hahaha.. notice its all about FOOD!! =P

~SheeeeeP~

sheeps gonnnnnnnee!! kekeke.. nah.. shes gone home.. after nearly a month of nonsense with me she finally had to go back to reality.. *awww..* poor sheep.. well.. we had heaps n heaps of fun dint we?? keke.. maybe too much that now going back to normal life is abit of a chore.. keke.. but seriously.. it was REALLIE REALLIE good having u here.. it was an honour.. i think u got to see/know some facets of lyn that u dint reallie wanna see.. ahhaha.. how im actually very toufu emotionally.. n how i actually eat more (when its my fav food) than i let on.. kekke.. how i get extremely cold feet (literally)..
welll.. i would like to think that i got to know u better as well.. keke.. actually i think its inevitable seeing how much time we spent in each others company! =P but yeah.. i reallie reallie hope that we can go trips together again.. (like langkawi but longer!) kekeke.. n i would like to thank you.. yes u sheep.. kekeke.. for everything.. for putting up with my nonsense..cold feet..tears.. n everything la! keke.. take care babez!! *HuGz* Luv ya Heaps n heaps!! =P

~Emotional Rollercoaster~

I used to think that i was quite a calm and collected person.. that i could control my emotions quite well.. but recently this perception of myself has changed.. i now find that im quite an emotional person.. i dont know whether i've alwiz been like that or whether its just that the last few years where i feel like i've been on an emotional rollercoaster.. with more lows then highs.. i used to think that i was pretty strong emotionally.. but then now i find that i can just start crying so easily.. dont get me wrong.. there are emotional highs.. my family n close frenz bring joy, love and laughter.. they are the safety net that prevents me from just pummelting off into obvilion.. the reason why im still here n sane.. i'm forever thankful n grateful for all my dearest frenz that had to put up with my lil 'emotional breakdowns' where they just listened to me whine.. comforted me or just told me to stop crying.. *HuGz*..

maybe i keep myself from reallie achieving the 'highs'.. i've only got myself to blame for wat i feel and how i act.. maybe im keeping myself from feeling too much.. coz honestly im scared shitless.. im scared that if i let myself be too happy or feel too much.. then when i fall.. i'm not going to be able to land on my feet.. and that there mite be no one there to catch me.. its kinda like a cliff with a wonderful view that i wanna see but im afraid to go look coz it mite just crumble n fall.. i would like to be the ever hopeful optimistic.. to think that everything will be alrite and everything will work out.. but i know in life.. sometimes no matter how hard you try.. somethings DONT work out and theres absolutely NOTHING u can do about it.. besides move on.. but i think when i care about something..i have a tendency to feel/care too much.. and then when i get hurt.. it hurts alot.. i wish i could wrap this cape of indifference about me.. but thats just not me.. no matter how hard i try to.. i cant.. i want things to be better.. n even tho i know i cant solve everything.. it still hurts thinking about it.. i hate feeling helpless.. maybe i worry and think so much.. i dont know..

i look at myself sometimes n i hate the fact that i can be so pathetic and whiny and generally a mess.. i dont want to be that person anymore..

only i can change who i am..

and i'm going to try to be a better me..

~Hangovers~

Mannn.. my head hurts.. :( i dont think i should have had that many glasses of wine.. and i dont think i should have drank them quite so quickly!! did i mention my head hurts? =\

~Cleaning Bathrooms

i reallie loathe cleaning the bathroom!! among all the household chores that i have to do i detest this particular one the most!! even tho i love taking showers.. i dislike having to think about how dirty the bathroom can actually be.. so once i have to or start cleaning it.. i get abit paranoid n start thinking about all the germs and start detergening everything that i would come into contact with.. *eeek* my bathroom is generally clean as im the only one using it n i dont do much in there anyway besides the usual stuff. .ahhaa.. but argh i do hate cleaning it!! *wrinkles up nose*

~Hot Showers~

dont get excited by the title.. keke.. its not some R rated stuff.. instead, i wanted to share how a nice hot shower can do wonders.. just standing under the hot spray of water.. it washes away all your tears, fears and worries.. at least for awhile.. u feel the spray upon ur face n body.. it acts like a massager relaxing those taxed and over worked muscles.. u hear nothing but the comforting sound of running water.. u close your eyes and see your dreams and wishes coming true.. u no longer taste the salt of your tears.. instead u lick ur lips and relish the taste of pure clean water..
then u emerge calmer and more rational.. like waking up from a long restfull sleep..