~New Features~

my blog has two new features!! in case u dint notice that is.. =p i got bored.. so subscribed for a guest book so everyone can put random hate/love messages in there! =) Thanks
and a poll thingie which i just put up today.. havent decided wat i wanna poll about yet tho.. haha..
check it out!!

~Friday nites~

had dinner with mel jan anna n yf on fri nite.. yf feeling guilty coz hes been ditching us.. alwiz busy whenever we do something.. anyway.. he was supposed to decide wat to eat.. but dint say anything.. so mel n i just walked into redhat(tats where we usually end up if we are eating chinese).. had to wait for table.. so they sat us at a big table n set up everything(supposedly to move later on).. then mel told yf.. 'i tot u supposed to decide' n then he said he was thinking thai but we walk in alredi.. then we were all like *doosh* never say earlier!! but since we had to wait.. we walked out again.. even tho anna alredi drank the tea.. SO EMBARRASING LE!! more so coz i go to red hat often! anyway.. at dinner we were talking about mel n her hilarious drunken moments.. n we decided to come over to my place n have dessert n the jan wanted to play ps with yf.. then yf went.. 'so are we drinking tonite.. since im not going to do work.. mite as well make it worth it'.. haha.. i think he wanted to see mel drunk.. anyway.. bought alcohol.. yun n trav came over.. jan n trav were glued to the ps2 which jan brought down so the gals n yf were the ones drinking.. it was damn funnee..played some stoopid card game thanks to yf.. (think embarrasing stuff).. mel fell off her chair 4 times i think(nothing surprising since she falls off even when shes sober) towards the end mel was gone.. anna just crawled onto the mattress where mel was Ko-ed on.. i was pretty tipsy as well.. sober enuff to look after mel n know wat i was doing.. but basically giggling alot and swearing alot(i realise i swear alot when im tipsy *blush*) yun was pretty sober.. n yf.. bluff ppl one.. keep asking ppl to drink but still look so sober at the end!! *humph* but it was fun.. i think everyone enjoyed themselves.. next day all of us were abit stoned.. esp yun.. with the 'missing camera' drama.. haha.. she eventually found it on her table!! mel got a kickass bruise on her leg n i got carpet burns on my knees coz i was wearing shorts!!
oh well.. heres to more fun times!!(with less drinking! =P)

~You Passed Me By~

From a distance you smiled,
From afar you seemed to be smiling at me,
but you passed me by..
Unknowingly you gave me hope,
Unknowingly you made me feel,
but you passed me by..
I thought you would stop,
I thought I could hold your interest,
but you passed me by..
Maybe I read it wrongly,
Maybe I thought too much,
but you still passed me by..
Now I sit here feeling a little lost,
Now I look upon your back,

all because you passed me by..

~Hopelessly Devoted to You by Olivia Newton-John~

i dunno why but i just thought of this song while i was in the shower yesterday morning.. i cant even remember the movie properly anymore!! keke.. abit stoned at the moment due to drinking last nite.. will give details later.. =p but for now heres hopeless devoted to you..

Guess mine is not the first heart broken
My eyes are not the first to cry
I’m not the first to know there’s
Just no getting over you

You know I’m just a fool who’s willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can’t you see there’s nothing left for me to do
I’m hopelessly devoted to you

But now there’s no way to hide
Since you pushed my heart aside
I’m outta my head hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted you
Hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying fool forget him
My heart is saying don’t let go
Hold on to the end that’s what I intend to do
I’m hopelessly devoted to you

But now there’s no way to hide
Since you pushed my heart aside
I’m outta my head hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you

~Steamboat~

I just realised that i forgot to write about the successful steamboat party at my place last sat.. =) everyone turned up cept for lainey n yf who had birthdays to attend.. eelyn mel n i went to chinatown in the afternoon to get all the food..and i think we got abit carried away.. haha.. yu jin insisted on having tom yum.. which i have to say was a very very good idea.. it was very yummy!! haha.. anyway.. the day before i tried to make this choc pudding.. which turned out to be like choc mousse for some reason.. but it was all good.. went well with strawberries and cream =) anyway..the eater of the nite definately goes to mel.. hands down.. tat gal just camp in front of the steamboats.. all the guys lose out.. ahha.. actually yun eelyn anna mel n i were mainly sitting in front of steamboat eating.. but mel had ALOT.. ahha.. ann wasnt feeling well n just picked here n there..
after food n dessert we played pictionary.. again.. haha.. trav jin mel n jan on the winning team.. (they seemed to alwiz get the easy one without all play! *pout*) after that played charades with the pictionary cards.. and i only have one word to describe it.. HILARIOUS! hahaha..i think all the gals are very excitable.. towards the end yun, mel n i ended up standing on our chairs (for better view) and all of us shouting away.. hahaha.. imagine mel n anna doing 'doggy bag' (n think dirty!) hahahaha.. but WE WON!!! hahaha.. everyone went back tired n quite voiceless.. =p

looking forward to steamboat at Nic's tomolo =) yum!

~Cookies anyone?~

yeah yeah.. first batch of peanut butter cookies with white choc chip is SUCCESSFULL! =) well.. at least it looks okie.. and tastes okie.. i think its abit sweet.. but then to normal ppl its most prob okie.. whenever i make something to my taste, everyone else complains that its not sweet enuff.. tsk tsk.. ppl.. too much sugar is no good u know!! anyway.. hope everyone else likes it!! *fingers crossed*

~Salt~

salt on ulcers hurt like HELL!!! (@#!&)$ *shuts eyes wrinkles nose n tries not to shout* rubbing in it hurts EVEN MORE!! but thats the fastest way to heal it!! argh.. hate it hate it..

~Sick~

i think im falling sick.. felt pretty shit yesterday.. thought it was
due to lack of sleep.. but then today (with a good 7 plus hours of
sleep) i dont feel much better.. *pout* i think im coming down with
the flu.. I BLAME TRAV!!! =\ besides that i think i've had too much
heaty stuff.. suffering the consequences now.. ulcers n shit.. :'(
hope that it all goes away soon!! wanna enjoy my weekend!! *fingers crossed*

does anyone every have days where u just want to curl in bed and just ignore the rest of the world.. (or in some cases curled up with someone(plus pt)=p..
today im having one of those days.. curled up with a good book.. i felt lethargy slip away.. i felt relaxed.. unfortunately i only had an hour of it.. =(

~Uni on an off day~

went to uni today.. even tho i actually have mondays off.. actually woke up at 11 to go follow eelyn to her 12pm lecture.. was going to lend emotional support for something.. unfortunately did not have a chance to carry out our agenda.. haha.. aww.. its alrite eelyn!! i'll follow again if u wan *HuGz*.. anyway.. surprisingly saw quite a few ppl i knew in uni.. i dint know alot of ppl went to uni on mondays.. haha.. met yun for lunch at the lil orange cafe(used to have weekly lunches there with mel n lainey once upon a time in founday).. we happen to get a table at prime position to see everyone walking by.. ahha.. after that eelyn had to go back to do work=\..spent a hilarious hour playing pool with yun.. .. 1 hour for 2 games.. and from that i deduce that both of us are quite hopeless at pool.. haha.. each won a game..

finally went to gym.. haha.. after 2 weeks of slacking and lazing (i blame the weather! *angelic look*).. good workout tho.. i feel quite refreshed now.. =))

oh.. i acquired 3 scratches today.. 2 on my thigh n one on my hand.. all from sitting down at 2 diff tables.. *wrinkles nose* moral of story.. :lyn has to be more careful while sitting at tables..

~Beach! =)~

some pics of our beachy outing..


Look whos come to conquer coogee beach!!


EeLyn n me (looks like im trying to hug her to death! o.O)


haha.. spaz yun n me comparing toungue lengths!


Eelyn n yun.. normal pic.. nothing spaz..


the devil has grown her horns!! run ppl run!


Happy happy!! taken by me! haha

~Glorious sunny days~

friday brought the sunshine.. =) unfortunately i missed half of it.. only woke up at 1 plus.. =P think i've been sleeping in too much.. my head feels heavy.. just started setting my radio to wake me up by 12.20 if i dont get up myself(last time it was 11.. but i think im getting old so now its `12.20 =P) anyway.. miss eelyn sms-ed me at 9.45 in the morning.. to tell me its a beeeeeeautiful day.. (only read the sms coz i had a wrong no at that time).. i put the phone down n went back to sleep(i did after all go to bed at 5am) anyway.. i got up.. felt like going to beach.. told yun (who was supposed to be studying).. so yun eelyn n i ended up in coogee 2 hours late (after changing n waiting for the damn bus).. had a nice walk down the beach n took some spaz pics then went for coffee n brunch.. (only short walk coz yun had to go to the circus) anyway.. eelyn n i decided to walk back from coogee..(good 40 min + walk) and it was a good decision.. rite eelyn! *wink* ahhh.. coincidences.. arent they wonderful?! =P (SOME of them) i think by the end of that coincidental hr eelyn n i were both hyper n flushed.. =P
anyway..eelyn wanted to go to the M'sian party that nite.. so i went with her.. jin trav n kent went as well.. got ready in below an hour! (from showering etc).. quite proud of myself.. jin picked us up n trav managed to get us abit lost getting to eelyns.. =\.. but arrived and proceeded to cut the queue.. haha.. the bouncers were idiots.. so irritating.. (but after the prev singaporean party there 2 wks ago that got raided im not surprised) anyway.. they keep saying that their counters reached capacity.. so they refused to let ppl in.. so the m'sian commitee (3 uni's worth..all 50 of them..) had to come out..went in.. n the place was pretty EMPTY.. tsk tsk.. music wasnt fantastic either.. did see lainey n also some of ning's frenz..(who were pretty plastered di).. anyway.. eelyn had her 4 shots n was very HAPPY.. haha.. but i much prefered bliss (not being biased.. just a better venue and more ppl i knew)..

~Jaded~

hmm.. i realised that im slightly jaded now.. no more the ever optimistic gal i once was.. had this conversation with mel about break ups.. loved ones leaving and fate and all.. n part of it went..

Me: but leaving is a diff kind of sad (as compared to break ups we were talking about earlier)
Mel:leaving is like CANbe together but somehow cannot also
Me:Yeah.. u dunno wats going to happen.. like 'yau yuen moh fan'.. got fate but its not your share..
Mel: yea..but you believe if its meant to be yours, it'll come back to you?
Me: sometimes.. only sometimes..

once not too long ago.. my answer would have been 'Yes' instantly.. without thought.. but now.. i dunno.. i still believe in fate.. but as i said.. lots of times.. you are fated.. BUT its not your share.. its a direct translation from cantonese.. sometimes u reallie want to beliff that its meant to be yours it will come back.. but how are u to know if its meant for you? how can u tell? if u love truly and deeply in every relationship.. then you will think that your current is 'the one'.. but wat if you are wrong and u spend many many years believing that becoz YOU beliff that hes meant for you.. he WILL come back..and so u hold out.. believing the one for you is alredi set.. and all you have to do is be patient.. that those other ppl are just passing by and are to test your love.. and at the end he doesent? then wat now??

i dont think im even making sense here.. haha.. dunno how to explain..

~Sunshine~

The sun finally managed to fight its way thru for awhile today.. after about 4 dreary gloomy rainy days.. i welcomed it with open arms.. unusual for me i know.. but while i was walking home from skool.. i turned my face to the sun and enjoyed the warm glow on my face.. it felt rejuvenating.. good for my poor laundry thats been out for so many days too.. (damn dryer dint work last time i tried).. its on sunny afternoons like this where you think that anything is possible.. =)

okay.. i think my last entry sounded abit depressing.. esp after the optimisitic entry that came before that! haha.. mood swings galore!! (and no.. im not pms-ing!) i dont even know why i wrote that.. i was just reallie tired after completing an extremely boring reading.. and i dunno.. my explorer was still on this page from before and i just sat down..typed and clicked published.. i dint think about it until i read it again last nite.. ah well.. dont take it seriously.. im fine.. reallie..

anyway.. just had dinner with a very hyper eelyn.. haha.. dunno wat she had.. but she was damn hyper.. ekek.. yun had to go for dinner at hurricanes (yummy ribs) so it was just me n eelyn.. keke.. she was so cute.. kept giggling.. but she calmed down halfway thru dinner.. =p as usual we talked about all sorts of crap.. interesting stuff and all.. =p sent her off and here i am..

~Pictures of Nic's 21st~

some photos of nicks 21'st.. only one photo of urs truly tho.. keke.. =P

there are also some photos of his ski trip.. if ur bored just check it out..


http://photobucket.com/albums/v406/privatepang/

i think somehow somewhere along the way i've lost track of the grand plot.. washed away in the sea of self doubt ive focused on things that i have no control over.. my self esteem lies crumbled to dust as i continually batter it with insecurities and doubts.. i see the hands held out to help.. the cries of encouragement yet i obsess and slowly but inexorably try to drown myself living in self denial..

~Thought of the Day~

**
Everyday something wonderful happens..
You just have to look out for it..
**

i beliff that.. i reallie do.. sometimes we just dont see that miracle.. or maybe its so small that we dont notice.. or maybe you were the 'wonderful' thing that happened to someone.. sometimes all it takes is a smile to light up someone's day.. i call that something wonderful.. its the little things that make everyday special.. family asking when u are coming back.. to know that your frenz actually take the time to read your blog.. =P yes you.. thanks for caring.. *HuGz*

i dont know.. some days i reallie dont see it.. some days i just wanna hide under my doona pretend that i dont exist and just escape to the surreal world that my fantastic runaway imagination conjours up.. thank goodness those days are few and far apart.. i usually manage to drag myself out of bed..eventually.. but yeah.. now im trying to focus on only happy thoughts.. yes.. new mantra 'happy thoughts happy thoughts' *mumbles under breath* fuck those negative stuff n ppl.. for every person that doesent care.. there are like 5 that do.. (i hopE) keke.. ladidumm.. bring on the happy thoughts!!

~Rain rain go away~

its been raining and raining the past 3 days.. compared to last week where it was nice sunny and relatively warm.. its soooo dreary.. gloomy weather makes u feel like snuggling in bed and not getting up.. even worse i think if u have a partner to snuggle with.. *starts daydreaming*..*eepz* hahahaha.. u have to forgive me.. im sitting here in uni labs.. waiting for john to finish his lects so we can discuss some work.. wanted to print my notes(since i still dont have powerpoint back home) but then print card ran out of $$ and too lazy to log off.. go to the next lab to top up my printcard and come back again.. too much trouble for a boring subject!! so here i am blogging n chatting on miranda..
essshh.. reallie not quite a fan of this wet weather.. reminds me of a time in yesteryear.. a time i had better LEAVE in the past.. but yeah.. *shrugs*.. johns here.. time to do work..

~Reasons Gym visit was put off~

today i think i was just not meant to go to the gym *beam* keke.. nooo.. i dint try to look for excuses NOT to go.. i was all set on going but a number of things happened that prevented it.. okay.. so i did wake up slightly late (12 plus) but then i havent been getting enuff sleep anyway.. so its excusable.. =P decided to download this weeks notes n stuff.. and coz my comp got reformatted n upgraded to xp(yes yes.. finally) i have only the bare minimum progs.. by the time i dl it n installed them was bout 2.. then found out that for some reason there was no hot water at all thruout the building.. so gym was put off till hot water came back on.. when it did.. i got all changed n all.. to find that it was pouring.. haha.. so i took it as a sign that im meant to stay at home.. ended up doing my sit ups.. =P

ohh.. just came back from dinner at tea inn with eelyn n yun.. saw some ppl i wanted to see n some which i can live without seeing.. *wrinkles nose* oh well.. thats life.. cant have everything we want.. but anyway.. it was fun chit chatting with eelyn n yun.. we can come up with the most random stuff.. haha.. yun still obsessed with the 'turkey'.. refuses to listen to my logic about it.. =P

okay.. off to go try to get some work done.. (keyword try..) laterz

~Board Games Galore!~

Had quite a hectic week.. Just was down from melb for his award nite thingie on wed.. (which i went to but couldnt understand the 'chim' meaning of half the finalists!) had dinner on tues with ning laine yf etc.. which was abit weird i think.. of coz i had uni as well.. (even tho i did zilch work).. then had bliss on thurs.. hmm.. tiring tiring.. friday we decided to have a lazy nite in n played board games.. =) we actually played scrabble monopoly n pictionary all in one nite.. ahha.. at first it was eelyn, yun, just, n i playing scrabble.. eelyn was the winner with her kickass 'quota'.. then anna came down n we decided to play monopoly while waiting for ann, jin n trav to come.. dint finish monopoly tho.. too long.. so finally played pictionary.. haha.. i have to say.. my grp.. jin yun eelyn n i are pictionary comeback champions man!! we had reallie shitty cards at the start n were stuck at the begining while the rest moved more than half a board ahead.. and then.. keke.. we performed well under pressed and WON!!! MUAHAHAHAH.. very keng i say.. i tot we were goign to get thrashed as the other team was only like 5 from the end.. but then.. we pervailed!

anyway.. the next day had trouble waking everyone up for lunch.. only finally got to paddington at like 2.. had to leave after lunch as Just had to catch his flight.. then ann n trav came over n we had scrabble challenge.. unfortunately i was the loser coz i kept getting vowels and reallie small marked letters (seriously hardly anything above 2/3) .. ann had to leave after one game so i played another with trav n i thrashed his ass!! hahaha..

finally two of us decided to move n get dinner at like 9.45.. most of the restaurants were alredi closed.. so we settled on 'giovana's' its an italian place.. its pretty okay..cheap n not bad food.. they can make any pasta u wan.. =) unfortunately.. after i had like 3/4 of my pasta.. i found a short hair in it.. *wrinkles nose* needless to say i was grossed and just told the waiter(maybe that dude was the owner).. anyway.. he wanted to make another one for me.. but i couldnt be bothered.. so i got the pasta for free.. but hair in my food!! argh!! *shudder*

anyway.. after that both of us decided to go disturb yun as we havent seen her room before.. i think shes pretty arty fartsy.. i like her room.. lotsa pics.. my kinda room! haha.. anyway.. after that we went up to trav's coz yun hasnt been there.. n finally at about like 1230 we came down to my place to watch cast away.. yes.. before yesterday i have not watched tom hanks talk to the volleyball.. found it pretty amusing.. but i would most definately freak out if i was in his position.. most prob go insane in like 2 weeks?! after that watched abit of 'my sassy girl' (yes.. i havent seen that either).. but halfway thru i KO-ed.. went to brush my teeth n decided to lie down for awhile and just fainted.. haha.. that was like 5 plus.. when i woke up at 11 and came to the hall the tv and heater was still on but no one in sight.. ahah.. found trav sleeping in the other room.. and later found out that yun slept on the couch n only left about 11.. haha..

oh well.. tahts the synopsis of my week.. besides today spent in east garden with a slightly more spastik than normal yun.. =P

~Bliss~

bliss was a success!! it sold out.. reallie happy for my frenz.. even tho i had to wait in the queue for almost 2 hours!! *busuang face* anyway.. finally decided on white pants n a red halter.. hair up with dangly earrings.. TRYING to look sophisticated.. =P anyway.. after the long long queue.. went in soooo thirsty.. and then saw so many frenz.. and had a liiiiittle too much to drink.. haha.. little would be the understatement.. it was quite embarrassing actually.. first time i've been so thrashed in a club.. i usually only reallie drink at home.. but then some of my frenz there i havent seen in yonks.. and basically too many too quickly.. so i dint even hit a high.. just hit a wall.. *wrinkles nose* thank god i dont do anything outrageous when im gone.. just throw up n go to sleep.. haha.. very easy to please one.. i still knew wat i was doing and i remember everything..but goodnessss.. it was embarrassing.. haha.. *cringe* oh well.. cant take back last nite.. haha.. thank god i dint have a hangover this morning.. thanks to everyone who looked after me!! =P *HuGz*

~What to wear?!~

Bliss(dance party few of my frenz are organizing) is tonite.. and im stuck with the usual girlie dilemma.. WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?! at first thinking of short pleated denim skirt.. then dunno wat top to wear with it.. dowan to wear a sexy top n come across as skanky.. and then thought maybe jeans.. or maybe my red halter with my white pants.. argh!! i dunno!! alot of my frenz will be there tonite so looking good is a MUST! *wrinkles nose*..

~A lil angel was born today(technically yesterday)~

Natalie Wong Wern Mei ( i think thats how u spell it) was born on the 10th of August 2004.. *applause pls* congratulations to my dearest sis (tho i would reallie freak out if she actually reads this).. i cant WAAAIT to see her.. De if u are reading this pls take lotsa lotsa lotsa photos ar!! I DONT CARE!!

its alwiz a wonder.. new life brought into this world.. this tiny little being that is totally reliant on you.. that came out of ur tummy.. *pause of silence to appreciate this fact*.. to all mothers out there.. i salute you.. to my new darling little niece.. i alredi adore you.. *HuGz*

~Hole~

Sheep described my dilemma today quite well.. previously i was in this hole.. trying to dig myself out.. had failures along the way.. but finally made some progress.. but then.. dunno why.. (maybe backside/toe itchy) decided to stick my toe back in the hole.. (just my toe mind u)

why oh why..

~Pictures Part2~

here are a few more pics.. =))


one of the few pics we took as a group.. with my face nearly cut off somemore!


how 'the smart ones' kept dry during the wet rides!! =P


Wheres my gun!!


poor lil gals couldnt get on the ride


Slyvieeeeeeeee


oh lovers.. =)


a normal pic for once.. hahaha

~Lost necklace..*sob*~

i dropped my necklace while shopping today.. *sniff sniff* its not expensive but then i liked it alottt.. it was a leather band with a leather heart on it.. its not very secure as u only tie the two ends together and sometimes the knot comes undone.. usually i manage to catch it in time.. but this time i dint.. n its goooooooone! *sniff sniff*

opppsss... sorry folks.. dint mean to make that entry so long..! *sheepish look*

~Girlie nite in~

Had a girlie nite in with eelyn n shiyun last nite.. of coz first we went for yummy sushi.. =) anna and trav joined us for a game of monopoly where i lost as usual.. okie.. i have to state that i wasnt the big loser!! (travis was!) hahaha.. but i think i was close behind.. nearly went bankrupt but saved by lending money from eelyn..we declared shi yun the winner since she had hotels on green n blue.. (which i have to say that i landed on BOTH.. TWICE in a row!) hahaha.. after that yun eelyn n i trooped down to McD's in our assorted 'home' outfits to get supper.. (sushi doesent fill ur tummy for very long!) anyway.. after tat we watched a korean movie.. 'windstruck'? or something like that.. i cant remember.. its sorta like the prequel to 'my sassy girl' (which i have yet to watch even tho john burnt me a copy 2 months ago!) anyway.. the storyline was quite sappy and typical sad korean story.. hate watching these kind at nite before i sleep.. coz im such a sap.. sure cry one.. n i think u can notice from my eyes today.. *wrinkles nose*.. anyway.. to cut a long story short.. the chick.. cant remember how to spell her name but begins with 'k' is a cop n the guy 'myungwoo?' is physics teacher.. they meet over amusing circumstances a few times n fall in love.. get together..yada yada..one day she was chasing this fugitive alone.. n he called her n when he found out he was worried coz she can be impulsive.. so he ran after her.. then this 2 detectives aso came tot he crime scene as the fugitive was running off.. n one of them accidently shoots myungwoo who was hiding.. n he dies.. and 'k' thinks that she shot him.. he dies... she tries to commit suicide but fails.. then tries to get herself killed in the line of duty.. n the rest is quite sappy crap la..
anyway.. it was quite corny la.. but then the thought behind it.. if u thought u caused the death of your beloved.. accidental or not.. how would u feel.. would you still want to carry on living? could you bear to live with the knowledge that you are alone in this world again and its your fault? i dont think i could.. i would lose the will to live.. but if there were kids to consider then thats a different story.. but if it was just him n me.. n it was my fault(or i thought so) i dont think i could live with the guilt.. *touch wood*
even if its not your fault.. its amazing how ppl can cope with death.. i know everyone has to go thru it sooner or later.. i hope and i pray that it would be later.. as i was watching the movie a thought went thru my mind.. even tho im no longer with him and tat we barely make the frenz cut.. i am very very thankful that he's still alive n kicking.. that he is safe.. do NOT wanna consider otherwise *shudders* *touch wood again*.. no im NOT backslidingggg.. just in that context maaaa =P..
okiee.. off to lunch with trav jin n eelyn then.. then i have to force myself to go to gym!!!! *wrinkles nose*

~I Found You~

In a landscape of beautiful sights
the colours are dulled, darkness prevails.
An echo of silence
resonates where voices and sounds should be.
In a crowd of people
the sense of being alone is overwhelming.
A voice calls out in the silence,
pleading and sad.
In the dark you grope frantically,
trying to reach the voice
Needing to know you are not alone.
You try to call out
to reassure, to comfort,
but you find you're voiceless.
Like a child learning to walk
you sometimes stumble, you fall,
but you get up again,
'don't give up!'.. you tell yourself,
Then miraculously hands touch,
The darkness fades,
the beauty of the new dawn enraptures you
Tentatively you try to speak,
Hesistant at first, then gaining confidence you say..

..I Found You..

~Forever and ever and there after~

hahaha.. that title just came coz at the moment blink 182's 'i'm lost without you' just started playing and the first line is
' i swear that i can go on forever again..' and i kinda hooked on to the forever bit.. and i wonder wat forever is? when you say it.. does it mean till the end of time.. till we die.. or maybe till the next interesting thing passes our way? i've come across one too many empty/inconsistant promises that sometimes i dont take stuff like that seriously.. which is bad i know.. coz when someone means it.. and i dont take it seriously.. then it would be an insult to them where it seems like i dont care.. but on the other hand.. if i wanted to take them seriously i think i'll just go mad.. i'll be so dissappointed.. i reckon its a lose lose situation man..
but reallie.. wat does forever mean? a marriage vow is supposed to be forever.. but more and more ppl do not keep that forever.. you are supposed to care and love your children forever but then there are increasinly more cases of children being abandoned.. it seems like forever is just a 'hip' word being used..
but i reckon sometimes the person saying it does mean it.. AT THAT POINT OF TIME.. but then once its said u cant exactly go 'hey.. remember i said forever.. well i take it back.. i dont mean it..' too many variables and circumstances change things sometimes i guess u have to take things as they come.. take each promise and analyze it on its individual situation and decide whether anot to take it seriously.. so much trouble eh?? why dont we just stop using forever when we are unsure about it hey?!