~One and all~

i sit here staring at the screen.. wondering the purpose of things.. the whole grand design of life.. the reason for things.. i wonder wat role i play.. wat i am to others.. sister, daughter, cousin, friend.. dear to some.. replacable to others.. different aspects of me.. different facets of my personality.. all roles equally important to me..to know im missed.. to know im loved.. wraps me in blanket of love.. protects me from the harsh world we live in.. but a sense of numbness remains.. a missing chunk.. a part remains dormant.. a part once explored but not fully appreciated.. one day i hope to be one and all to someone..

~Of Happier Thoughts~

okay.. i think i should also try to remember all the fun times i had in the past week..
wed nite dinner n drinking was a blast.. put took too few pics.. will post some soon.. =)
thurs.. totally zombified from tummy ache (due to drinking for some reason) went for lunch with jin yun mel n jan.. sushi fusion but not much appetite.. dinner at superbowl!! managed to con yinfu and elaine into taking me there for yummy porridge since my tummy wasnt well.. =P came back.. played ps2 with yf while waiting for the lovebirds to come join us.. took them the total of TWO hours.. i reallie dont wanna know wat they were doing.. but ps2 was fun.. keke.. love 'burnout2' imagine.. a game where i can just drive like a pyscho and bang other ppl.. damn fun.. i have to say.. compared to yf.. im about par.. cept his driving skills much more keng la.. me alwiz kena banged as well.. but i find it amusing to see my car flying all over the place.. ahahah.. played other misc games.. got my ass kicked in almost all the fighting ones.. *wrinkles nose* i say he talks to me to distract me.. tats y i lose.. horrible.. the lovebirds finally came down.. with 'the eye' which is a chinese horror movie.. its not THAT scary.. but it plays on those chinese customs and religion.. and the sounds.. argh.. was freaking out abit that nite when i switched off all my lights and sitting alone in bed..
fri.. supposed to wake up n go for yam cha with yf n yun.. but only woke up at 12 and by the time i woke the other 2.. haha.. n then.. tat stoopid fella's aunt suddenly call n wanna take him for lunch.. so i had to wait another hour.. (starving) for yun n trav to get ready.. but we had such yummy lunch at bondi.. totally pigged out.. *greedy look* heaven.. then played horrifying pool with yun.. ahha.. ohh.. then went to the max brenner's in double bay.. its this yummy hot chocolate place.. ate n ate again.. n then finally accompanied lainey (yun tagged along) to this lounge in the city.. which turned out to be crap.. so we lounge hopped till we ended up in 'establishment' which is known for the older crowd.. so ppl watched all the nicely dressed females with older men.. kekeke..
ermm.. tat leaves sat n sun.. sat spent most of the day helping yun pack up.. n sun went on a mini rd trip down to my cousin's place in the blue mountains.. very scenic.. soo many trees ard.. ahha.. tiring but fun.. then came back n helped yun move her stuff down to my place for storage coz shes moving in with Van next sem.. i have to say.. for one person in one bedroom she has QUITE alot of stuff.. ahhaha..

~Irrational Thoughts~

ARGH!! sometimes i do such stupid things i reallie want to smack myself.. HARD.. its like there is this stupid neuron in my head that goes 'BING' and lyn does something she will regret.. okay.. actually its when i follow my heart and ignore rational thought that i do something stupid.. like not leaving well enuff alone.. i just had to stick my itchy fingers in it and stir up stuff.. *smacks herself on the forehead*..

when a rational person knows that something is not good for him/her.. naturally he/she will stay away from it.. but NOoooooo.. i have to be like an addict on crack.. alwiz going back for more..

i think irrational thoughts will be my ultimate downfall..

~Worry worry~

i reallie reallie worry excessively sometimes.. i bring undue stress to myself.. when i worry.. its sometimes so bad that i feel this dreaded feeling in the pit of my stomach.. my heart feels like its going to drop down into it.. and i feel sick.. sometimes to the point where i feel like crying.. its just that the thought of something happening to someone u care for.. or the thought of failure.. and with an overactive imagination.. i come up with the worst possible scenerios..

[note]: regardless of the fact that i may sound like a depressed piece of shit here.. im actually pretty alright.. too busy to reallie be too sad.. just need to release some of the pent up frustrations at times..

my thoughts..
chaotic and jumbled,
my emotions..
hurt and lost,
my dreams..
haunted and painful,
my memories..
taunting and bittersweet,
my future..
unsure and disorganized,
my heart..
broken and bleeding..

~Confused Ramblings~

i sometimes think that i'm alwiz asking for it.. i worry too much about everything and i stick my nose and do stuff that are very much better left alone.. and wat happens at the end.. i just end up hurting myself no? yes its true that you only live once..(thats the logic i convince myself with).. but whos going to be there to pick you up at the end of the day? who is going to hold me and tell me that everything will be alright?absolutely no one.. playing with fire without any ammo to arm yourself with is a sure way of getting burnt.. and who cares how you feel.. how important are you to them? reallie.. tats a question i reallie do not want answered as deep down i know it already.. living in denial may be fun at times.. but that is no way to live life.. u get so fixed and obsessed that you lose track of youself.. you become someone u thought u would never become.. some poor simpering fool who misses out on the wonderful things in life just coz of an obsession..

~Of Fun Filled Nites and Lousy Mornings..~

met up with the old gang last nite.. for post (and mid for 2 unfortunate ppl) exam celebration.. we had dinner plus plus.. it was fun.. everybody was relaxed.. and no one had any pressuring issues to think about.. so everyone just had.. fun!! okay.. towards the end.. maybe i did some stuff that i shouldnt have.. but then.. at that point.. it dint seem very important to my alcohol addled mind.. and i just did watever i felt like.. and.. erm.. well.. not the most 'appropriate' thing.. no i dint do anything kinky! im not kinky! just did stuff i shouldnt have..
but unfortunately.. the morning after is alwiz not as pleasant.. tummy refused to be co-operative and went around the whole day in a sorta zombied state.. but ah.. reprecussions.. *shrugs*

~The Good Girl (but abit lazy still)~

i was a good gal today!! went to bondi junction with yun after her exam and i dint buy a single thing!! cept strawberries and whipping cream for my cake.. n food.. but thats not counted yes? i need to eat! but well.. we were looking for eelyn's second pressie.. couldnt come up with anythign specially nice.. towards the end.. both of us were walking ard like a couple of zombies.. no idea why im feeling so tired today.. came home n had an hour nap.. n still feeling abit tired.. *wrinkles nose* im getting old!! oh.. i woke up early intending to go to the gym before yun comes home from her exam.. but guess wat.. it was pouringgg!!(by the time it stopped.. no mood di) this is like the second or third time my gym plans have been twarted.. (is that how u spell it?!) but.. yeah.. im tkaing that as a sign.. haha.. (just being very lazy.. knowing when im go back im going to get dragged to the gym anyway).. yes.. lyn the lazy piglet..

~Lyn the housewife?!~

okay.. so maybe i lied.. i knew wat i was crying about.. well.. wat started it actually.. but.. i dunno.. its stupid.. and hopeless.. and sappy.. but oh well.. not thinking about it (think only happy thoughts only happy thoughts!!)
anyway.. met up with john today in the city.. for about 2 hours.. he was late.. and had to leave early.. tsk tsk.. but it was good to see him.. its weird.. like im so used to seeing john n nic everyday i go to uni.. and now.. dont see them at all.. and they are so busy.. have to plan way ahead to meet up.. i cant imagine next year when they start working!! *wrinkles nose* most probably have to call their secretaries to make an appointment! =P but oh well.. treated john to max brenner's heavenly suckao.. first time he tried it.. was so amazed with it but only had about half.. so i got some too!! =) walked ard for abit.. and i bought this reallie realliiieeee cute travelling bag.. big enuff to stuff my water, book and mdman..(with all the usual important stuff of coz) its got little ghosts on them.. SO CUTEE kawaaaai!!! bought mel her bday pressie too.. hope she likes it! =) and anddd.. i bought this sassy little no.. its this sequined lil tunic with a slip inside.. and u can wear it as a dress or over jeans.. ahhhh.. abit short tho as a dress.. but who cares.. paired with heels.. *evil look*.. very efficient shopping today.. =)
okay.. back to housework now.. *wrinkles nose* i stayed home the whole day yesterday cleaning up and then cooking at nite.. i seirously felt like a housewife.. but.. now.. after my 3plus hour outing.. i feel normal again.. ahhaha.. =P

~Don't Wanna Cry No More~

i cried myself to sleep last nite.. (And i just saw 3 balloons float past my apartment)..but.. i dunno.. i was feeling so tired.. i just let my mind wander.. and.. it wandered into areas better left unmentioned.. (in fear of getting smacked).. and once one hot tear slid down my face.. everything just gushed through the floodgates.. and the silly thing was.. i dint reallie know wat i was crying about.. (yes i know..silly gal.. we established that ages ago) and thank goodness no one was reachable to hear me whine.. (poor frens have put up with my psychotic roller coaster moods more than enuff.. *HuGz*) but.. just fell asleep.. feeling drained.. something woke me up 3 hours later.. but.. i was too tired to figure it out anda just went back to sleep.. and now.. i have PUFFY EYES!! :'( (and feel reallie silly about myself.. and writing this.. but heck.. who cares)

~It Had to be You by Frank Sinatra~

Why do I do, just as you say
Why must I just, give you your way
Why do I sigh, why don't I try to forget

It must have been,
That something lovers call fate
Kept me saying: "I have to wait"
I saw them all,
Just couldn't fall 'til we met

It had to be you, it had to be you
I wandered around, and finally found
The somebody who
Could make me be true,
And could make me be blue
And even be glad, just to be sad
Thinking of you

Some others I've seen,
Might never be mean
Might never be cross,
Or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
For nobody else, gave me a thrill
With all your faults, I
Love you still
It had to be you, wonderful you
It had to be you

~HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEAR!!~

ohmigoodness.. im so sorry dear wang cheen.. i did NOT forget to call u.. i did remember yesterday morning.. but it was too early back home (damn the time difference).. then.. i was out the whole day.. and i got back damn tired(damn the stoopid hot weather).. and i kinda stoned out the whole nite.. but.. i DID try to call u today.. but u werent in.. n i dont have ur hp no.. so i HOPE u are reading this n i HOPE my card arrived.. and i LOVE YA!! i hope u enjoyed ur big day!! *HuGz*.. cant wait to get home to catch up!! *HuGz*

~EeLyn's Belated Bday Do!~

on a happier note.. we finally got together to celebrate eelyns belated birthday.. nothing fancy.. since its smack in the middle of exam period for most of them.. *gloat gloat* but yeah.. we went to 'sushi suma'.. nearest jap food i could think of since the birthday gal is a big fan of jap food! (like meeee.. n like almost everyone else tat went tonite) but yeah.. stoopid thing is that it was raining.. and the stoopid ppl at the shop.. even tho we made a reservation.. we ended up waiting for maybe half n hour plus?? the gals dint reallie notice coz we were busy talking(gossiping) and catching up.. but jan was getting grumpier by the minute.. anyway.. finally got a table.. and proceeded to gobble everything up (they took our order while we were waiting and the table was set with our food! *saving grace i say*) but.. well.. the food was okay.. (im abit spoilt by sushi fusion sashimi) but overall.. pretty okay.. the company was definately excellent.. had a blast talking(gossiping) and all.. i'm glad eelyn seemed to like wat we got her.. (i dont htink i should mention it here tho) hahaha.. but yeah.. went back to mels place to cut the little mud cake yun n i bought her(i ewnt to EG to buy it and NEARLY forgot.. after happily wondering in k-mart) i walked ard thinking.. i was supposed to buy something.. hahaha.. but yeah.. reason why we went to mel's place is coz eelyn wanted to see little booboo.. mel's bunny.. or rather jan's pohpui(means precious).. but while eelyn was carrying him(wanting to take a photo) poor booboo fell on the table.. narrowly missing the cake.. and sorching his whiskers in the process and then fell on teh floor.. so now.. booboo has funky sorched whiskers!! hahaha
anyway.. it was good catching up.. we donthang out enuff i say.. its hard.. with everyone having different timetables.. but.. yeah.. well.. *shrugs*.. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY EELYN!

~Honesty.. the best policy?!~

people say that honesty is the best policy.. the only policy that you should follow.. but then.. sometimes.. its not that you want to lie.. or tell half truths.. but.. maybe u just dont want to freak people out? coz.. sometimes.. the truth can be too much to handle.. but.. if its concerning other people then definately.. honestly is the only way to go.. im thinking more along the lines of how YOU feel sometimes.. coz.. sometimes.. its only human to have forbidden thoughts.. and.. to be judged by them would be extremely unfair.. jealousy, forbidden love, other *aherm* not so pure thoughts *angelic smile*.. i think no one has lived fully without 'feeling' them.. (i certainly hope so! or else im abnormal!) but yeah.. i think.. some thoughts are much better kept in the complex place we call the mind..

~Of Thoughts and Dreams~

I think i've mentioned this before.. but.. i think.. that.. the times of the day that i dread most is.. late at night and early in the morning.. where im drifting in and out of sleep.. i guess its this time where half formed thoughts and dreams and memories all fuse together.. and trust me.. for me.. its reallie bad.. its at this time where i can almost feel his arms around me.. that i remember how sometimes he held me posessively close to him.. and its a this time where i reallie feel alone.. the empty side of the bed a reminder of wat i lost.. wat was never mine to start with.. i pull my doona up around me.. but it doesent warm the coldness i feel inside.. i tell myself not to be stupid.. and i try to think of happier thoughts.. but.. these memories.. these half dreamed desires.. come unbidden..

~FReeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

I'm Frrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee.. free like the bird soaring off in the sky.. free like the cute dolphins and lil penguins.. (those not held in the zoo that is).. yes yes!! i'm DONE with exams!! well.. at least for my undergraduate.. and i seriously HOPE and PRAY that i make it thru todays paper!! *wrinkles nose*.. but no use worrying about it now.. nothing i can do.. all i have to do is keep my fingers crossed and pray for the best.. and dread the 10th(results are out then).. but now.. now i can do WHATEVER i want!! unfortunately, almost all my frens are still having their exams.. and its no fun partying alone.. =\ well.. shall try to get all the errands out of the way first.. and do some wandering around myself.. =)

ohh.. i just watched 'Bridget Jones 2' with Yun today.. bloody funny i say.. haha.. even tho i cant reallie remember wat happened in No1 (not such a big fan).. but this one was pretty entertaining.. worth my $8.50.. =)

anddd.. i have to write about this super cheap vase i bought.. its a maroon tube glass vase.. very pretty and the total of $3.00! 2.95 to be exact! it cost much more to start with(the bodium shop is right next to boost juice and im alwiz checking it out while i wait for my juice =)) but yeahh.. sale!! so exciting.. now to get someone to buy me flowers.. hmmm.. that one.. abit.. no.. alot harder.. *wrinkles nose* ah well.. i used to buy myself flowers anyway.. so.. well.. nothing wrong with that.. makes the place look brighter =)

~21 Hours till Freeeeeeeeeeedom! (and counting..)~

YaY!! im not dirt poor anymore.. after a few days with 14 bux in my acct and 70 cents in my wallet.. my bro FINALLY responded to my SOS!! kor.. i love u.. but then.. can be any slower anot! ur poor sister here.. irrelevant that i have one final paper and am supposed to be hibernating at home.. i just feel insecure with no Moo-lah.. ya know!! anyhowwwww.. in exactly 21 hours and 6 minutes.. i will be DONE with my undergraduate life.. (*fingers crossed everyone that i clear this last paper!!*) my internal marks for this paper is fantastic.. thanks to my wonderful groupmates!! *HuGz* i think i need 4/50 to pass..no actually.. currently running on a PC.. but then.. stoopid thing is.. that i have to actually PASS The Bloody FINAL to pass.. *Sheesh*! and i had a look at some qs he provided as a guide to the kinda qs/lvl hes going to set for the exam.. and.. *fainted* BLoody shit.. i dont think i can even answer 1/10 of them ARGHH!! oh please let lyn at least get 24/50 tomolo!!
21 hours and 3 mins!! yes.. watchingt he clock tick is much more interesting then actually learning about Tcp, Firewalls, and shit that just flows out my brain as soon as i try to stuff them in!! *wrinkles nose*
21 hours and 2 mins!! YIIPIEEEEEEE!!

~Happy Birthday EeLyn!!~

big big birthday wishes to miss Lee EeLyn!! *HuGz*.. persevere now and
we will Paaaar-Taaaay after the exams k!? =) *huGz*

~Which suits me best?!~

some random quiz yun asked me to take.. keke.. i took it twice.. coz the answers were pretty percise(n i was procrastanating(is that the rite spelling?) as usual.. =P which one do u think more accurately describes me?

I am Gourmet Girl Click on the picture below to read more:

OR...

I am a hybrid of: Progressive Girl Party Girl Click on the pictures below to read more: Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

~Kiss me on my forehead.. make everything ok..~

u know.. i think that most people grapple with self esteem issues sometime in their life.. well.. okay.. maybe not most ppl la.. some ppl.. myself included.. as Vanessa explains it on her blog.."It's like a disease, I swear" to me.. its more like this old wound that wouldnt heal properly.. its there.. u get used to it.. but once in awhile if u accidently scrape it.. it bleeds again.. n once in awhile.. u also pick at it.. hoping it healed over.. only to find it still bleeds raw..

okay.. i just realised that that sounded totally random.. main comment received for my ITLaw essay that my part was abit of confused rambling.. haha.. hello.. lyn = confused randomness.. hahaha.. of coz i write like that too.. nah.. i dint even realise it was that bad until he said it.. but it wasnt all that bad.. still got 24/35.. we were so worried that we'd fail it.. i think i pulled nicks mark down tho.. coz the lecturer liked his part.. (did i alredi write about this? cant remember.. havent blogged in awhile).. anyway.. since this is MY blog.. i can ramble on as MUCH as i like.. anyway.. anyone reading this shouldl know me in real life and is used to the fact that im chaotic orderness.. i dunno wat nic n john would do w/o me to remind them bout stuff sometimes.. haha..

anyway.. yes.. back to the topic.. insecurities.. it eats at u.. gnaws (is that how u spell it.. too lazy to check the dict) at you.. till u bleed dry and theres nothing left.. (okay im being overdramatic now).. but yeah.. sometiems i worry too much about everything.. that.. i kinda lose sight of the big picture.. i worry so much that i sometimes dont end up doing the things I wanna do.. coz i think im not good enough..
actually.. i dont think i can explain the panic-ed feeling i sometimes get.. that.. somehow.. ive lead a semi charmed life.. one i dont deserve.. and its going to come crashing down.. that im just playing a part.. that ppl have too much faith in me.. and im positive that im going to fail.. and disappoint everyone.. i do occasionally actually feel physically sick.. (very seldom)..
i dunno.. maybe its partly because i'm the youngest in a family of high(very) achievers.. i've disappointed my parents one time too many.. i guess in each family theres always an underachiever.. joy oh joy.. and.. i've come up second choice(option) in quite a few things.. especially in the most important thing.. second choice to the person i adored.. body heart n soul.. i knew that from the start.. but i persisted.. hoping to change his mind.. but.. instead.. ah well.. we learn stuff all the time.. *shrugs* but those are just excuses i reckon.. i just dont have the confidence in myself.. yes.. i do think tat im quite a boring person.. accept for the occasional(or not) randomness.. and i reallie do think that most of the good stuff.. happen to me by fluke.. that somehow.. im not being exposed for the horrible bore i am.. honestly.. if i was a guy.. i wont go out with me! maybe except reason being i can be quite 'cheeky' (to put it mildly) sometimes.. *angelic look*

but yeah.. analyzing myself..
i find ..

a serious lack of..

~Work work~

i realise that my previous entry is a lil depressing.. okay.. maybe more than a lil.. =P but it was one of those 'moments'.. but its all good now.. now being the present moment in time.. =P.. i just need to convince myself to pay more attention to the happy positive side of life.. i need to look at my lil fishies(i know thats not gramatically rite but i like to say it!=P) swimming ard in their lil world.. at the moment the new plant takes up almost 1/3 the tank.. keke.. but somehow watching them alwiz brings a smile to my face.. =)

anyway.. exam period is here again.. it never fails to amaze me how quickly time whizzes by.. i can't believe that i'm technically done with lectures and tutorials.. i officially have (hopefully) 4 hours more of school or rather EXAMS.. thats it.. it reallie only seems like yesterday where i walked into lecture hall full of strangers in foundation year..
okay okay.. if i start talking about the past, i'll never stop.. fond memories somehow alwiz manage to hold me in sway.. maybe its a way to escape reality.. *shrugs*.. ah well.. only thing i should be thinking about at the moment is how im going to memorize everything for my IT Law exam on wed.. u cannot imagine how bad i am at memorizing.. i have like this tiny goldfish brain.. did the second draft for some IT Law work today.. some chinese guy did the first draft.. and boy.. i forgot how hard it is to edit stuff with poor english.. i used track changes.. and by the time i went thru it once.. almost every sentence had colour.. and i had to go thru it again to make sure i dint miss anything out or that in my confusion i make things worse.. i reallie pity poor Yun and Van whom spent almost a week editing maybe 100 pages of poor english EACH.. *salute* i did 2 pages and was getting confused myself.. haha.. i admit that my grasp on the english language is not fantastic.. half the time i cant spell properly as well.. but.. i think its passable.. =P but oh well.. i can hardly string together sentences in any other language nowadays.. so i should just keep my gap shut! =P

~Ramblings of a tired and stressed mind~

[note]: the following entry is long and depressing.. and its just me rambling n whining..

last night while just browsing thru some fren's blog.. i stumbled onto a blog and quite a number of his entries were about his long distance relationship with his gf that ultimately led to a breakup.. and how he felt during and after.. how he came to realise that sometiems love is not enough.. even tho i did feel abit nosy reading all these private stuff.. i just felt like.. i could relate.. and then i realised that i actually know many people either currently in a LDR or have experienced it before.. and trust me when i say its no joy ride.. alot of them fail.. alot of the couples go thru alot of pain and heartache while trying to cope with it.. there are some (too little) that do end up together but as i said.. too little.. even with all the latest technology.. LDR are very difficult.. and thats an understatement.. i believe that LDR need ALOT of trust and commitment from both sides.. and hard work.. lots of it.. love may not be enuff to pull you thru the storm.. the distance.. and if only one side works.. it still might not be 'happily ever after'..

reading that blog.. it brought all the emotions and memories that i have worked to forget or suppress.. longing, anger, jealousy, frustration, pain.. emotions that are very common when your loved one is miles and miles away.. and the empty pillow by your side is just taunting you.. the ache in your heart a constant reminder.. i have been thru 2 failed LDR.. and to say i emerged unscath would be laughable.. to top it up.. both of them kinda ended coz of another girl.. and it hurt.. alot.. to be told by someone else.. to know that the person you loved and trusted.. even tho they did not cheat on you per se.. they dint care enough to tell you in person that their love for you had faded.. "out of sight, out of mind" i reckon that happens alot.. i know that thousands of ppl have been thru the same thing, but that doesent stop the hurt.. that doesent stop the doubt that creeps into your mind.. the thought that maybe i'm not good enough.. does wonders to the self esteem huh? to know you gave it your all.. but it wasnt good enuff.. maybe it'll never be good enuff.. maybe i'll alwiz come second place.. i know im just rambling.. i'm not some psycho thats depressed all the time.. its just that.. even tho i tell myself its over.. theres nothing i can do about it.. nothing i could have done then.. nothing i can do now.. there is no use crying over spilt milk.. especially milk that spilt so long ago.. i'm fine 99% of the time.. but then..being the one left behind.. sometimes seeing stuff or just random thoughts..or a scent.. and everything comes bubbling up to the surface again.. or more like gushing.. and sometimes i feel so helpless.. (hopeless) no matter how many times my head tells my heart to GET OVER IT.. the tears just wont stop flowing.. i know that im over him.. but i cry for the loss..i cry coz of the dull ache inside.. i cry coz sometimes it still hurts to think of him being with someone else.. it still hurts to think that the first/true love of my young life obviously did not care for me..

maybe im making all the wrong choices.. maybe its their loss not to know wat they left behind.. maybe im better off without them.. maybe i'll meet someone who will appreciate me.. maybe im worth more than i give myself credit..

but then.. all those maybes does not stop the pain.. nor does it take away the loneliness..

at the end of the day.. i'm still alone..

~A Quote~

"But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams"

did you not realise that or did you choose to ignore it when you trampled on my hopes and dreams?

~Random Quiz~

came across this quiz while reading someone's blog.. even tho i know they are never accurate.. its fun to just see what they say.. and sometimes the questions are amusing and thought provoking(well.. not this one in particular tho) anyway.. this is wat emotional state i am!


Love: You are bubbly, kind, and pure. You
enjoy the company of friends and those close to
you, and are just a generally happy person.
Your main desire is for those you care about to
feel appreciated.


What emotional state are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

hmm.. bubbly kind and pure.. =) some of it is true tho.. i believe =P

~Love is..~

"but can anyone define love"
that was laine's nick on msn..
of course that prompted me to *raise hand* and when she said i go ahead i said something spastic like 'love is .. so great it cannot be defined by words' hahahhaa.. i just love giving spaz replies to msn nicks.. =P

but anyway.. what is love? is it that feeling like butter on warm toast? is it the secure, loved feeling you get being around that person? is it the butterflies in your stomach when your close to that person? is it the fact that you are willing to do almost anything for him/her.. to be close to them? to see them happy? that their smile and laughter lights up your day.. or is it just some silly emotion your heart fools your mind into believing.. into feeling?

i belive its all that and so much more.. like i said.. its too great an emotion to be defined by words.. and its so circumstantial.. i belive that there are so many different ways and possibilities of loving someone.. all feeling equally strong.. just different.. the unconditional love you have for your family.. the deep sense of attachment and love for your close friends.. the playful fun love for a pet or favourite toy(or softoys in my case =P) .. not forgetting the head over heels crazy in love with your partner.. which in time i believe(hope) will grow into a sense of belonging.. to one similiar to the love for family.. but more.. ohh.. keke.. the love for good food as well! =P the list goes on and on.. some may be stronger and take precedence(too much ITLaw) over the others.. some may fade over time like any other emotion.. but if you believe you feel for something strong enough.. i think ur entitled to call it watchawant! =P live life loving every second of it! well.. the good bits at least.. im pretty sure there are icky days where u wish u dint even exist!

what do you think the definition of love is?

p/s.. my current msn nick: love is.. purple stars? (totally random)