~Thanks~

feeling a lil sick today.. but i just wanted to say that im reallie touched that a few of my frenz in sydney emailed me when they heard about the tsunami affecting Malaysia to check if my family n i were fine.. i reallie appreciate the gesture.. knowing that im thought of.. thanks guys.. *Hugz*

the death toll is still rising.. we can do more than just watch.. pls do your bit to help the survivors.. whether by donating cash or clothes or just praying for them..

here are some links..
Google Information and donations
cfhi.org
tsunamihelp.blogspot
and of coz.. not to forget the worldwide news page CNN

~HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE *hugz*~

happy birthday to you.. happy birthday to you.. happy birthday to *takes a deep breath* SHIYUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN happy birthday to yyyyyyyyyyyouuuuuuuuuu!!! *HuGz* heres to the spaz that talks to her guru from shasta-somethingorother.. wish i was there.. hope you had fun.. we will have a belated celebration when i see ya k! *wink* *HuGz*

heres a pic of one of our spazer times.. =P

~On a lighter note~

nothing like pics to cheer myself up a lil!! (sounds bimbo-ish but.. nvm.. it does.. ) heres some pics from tea i had with the darling gals of MHS..

nothing i can say would be sufficient to describe the horror in wake of the earthquake and tsunami.. more than 11 countries affected and the death toll currently tops 67 000.. villages and towns wiped away just like that without warning.. and because most of the areas affected are rural areas and poor towns.. the after effect is going to be another horror.. sanitation problems and diseases.. a gazillion things could still go wrong.. nothing is certain now for those people.. thats the saddest thing..

i was in shanghai when it happened and did not hear about it until late that nite.. my uncle in penang was actually docked at one of the bays when it happened (he takes tourists out for boat trips) and he narrowly escaped it.. thank goodness my other friends in penang were fine.. (damn SIM card i was using dint have their nos and i had to wait till like monday nite to find out!)

i dread turning CNN on now.. who am i to say that this is so sad.. wat i feel.. is nothing compared to those who lost their family friends and loved ones to this tradegy.. of being torn between fear and hope of hearing the phone ring becoz your loved ones were in that area and you havent heard from them..if you dint realise before that life is precious and uncertain at its best.. im pretty sure u do now.. i'm pretty sure u looked/ called up a loved one.. just to KNOW that they are well.. i did..

sooo.. appreciate and tell those you love that you do.. before its too late.. before u regret not doing it when u had the chance(see.. tats y im such a psycho emotional need to act wat i feel person) sometimes its better to be shunned for acting how u feel than live in regret.. well.. tats wat i think at least.. no?

~Leaving On a Jet Plane~

i'm leaving.. on a jet plane (ermm.. not exactly jet.. most prob a boeing747 or something..) but i DO know when im coming back.. on the 27th! (sorry to those whom i said 29.. i THOUGHT it was the 29th).. yeap.. this sick gal is off to shanghai!! yeah yeah..

checklist:
packed bag - negative(clothes all over the place.. nothing in my cupboard is wintery.. will resort to old winter stuff used for holidays.. )
charged all electrical item batteries - check
packed all medication (Just in case..*touch wood*) - check
entertainment ready - almost check.. still wanna record my fav chill out cd to md..
x`mas pressies wrapped - check (cept nat's patrick) no i'm not mad enuff to bring everything.. just want then all wrapped n ready.. no x'mas tree this yr tho.. =( partly my fault..
spanking new digicam - CHECK! =)

hahaha.. i dunno wat i went on about.. im off to bed now.. knowing my bro.. he'll wake me up at some unseemly hour (most prob 8 coz Sun needs to work tomolo and hes not working) *wrinkles nose* dont we love our siblings?

~Misc~

ohh.. i got my spanking new camera.. as nic would say.. its so SEXY!! =P its a panasonic lumix.. the 5.1MPixels one.. dark blue.. small.. sexy.. takes wonderful photos.. (esp that shake-proof thingie.. going to be useful i think).. dad managed to get a staff price as he's handling the warehousing for Panasonic.. so it was a good buy(or else i would be feeling very very guilty about now) only thing is.. i dont think the battery lasts for very long.. but.. not complaining.. very very happy gal! =)

met up with my old school mates on sun.. it was reallie good catching up with Cheen, Gene, Pui Yee n Su San.. havent seen them since Jan i think.. (cept Cheen whom i caught up with in MelB).. sat in a cafe for abotu 2 hours just talk talk talk.. usually all at once.. =P then susan had to go off for dinner n the rest of us just wondered ard 1u(shopping mall) for abit n then went for dinner where we continued talking.. haha.. well.. tats wat gals like to do.. talk! =Pwill post pics after i figure out the s/w for the new cam.. and.. after i get photoshop running.. (reminder to self: get photoshop cd..fake of coz.. =P)

Nat had her baptism on Sun.. tats why the whole family woke up at an unseemly hour(7-ish) and trooped down to Kit's church.. (if u havent guessed by now.. we are all buddist/tao but my bro-in-law is Christian and so is my sis now) it was my first time attending a proper service.. one thing to note..there is a lot of singing involved.. dint bring my glasses.. so couldnt see the projection of lyrics.. hence just stood when ppl stood.. sat when ppl sat.. and just listened.. =)

i totally respect each individuals right to choose their own religion.. (cept.. those ppl i know who only think that their's is the right one and do not take other religions seriously.. or are prejudiced against some coz of their religion.. then.. i term it religionism.. ) i say that.. coz.. i've come across some individuals.. that would only go out(date) ppl of the same religion.. like.. seriously.. i was pretty shocked.. i've been brought up respecting my religion and others.. since im the youngest.. i usually tag along with my mom whenever she goes to the temple or does all the praying stuff.. and i've never come across anything (to my knowledge about my own religion) about only dating buddist.. we can usually do watever we want.. as long as we respect our elders, gods, deceased and all living things.. so when i went over to aus and met some ppl and somehow got into that discussion.. i was pretty shell shocked.. i mean.. they are quite fixed upon it.. kinda refused to listen to my point of view(and i did protest..) and i could'nt see the logic to it..none of my bf's have been buddists (yes they were still chinese!) and.. it hasnt reallie been a problem.. granted.. it may be easier on both parties if u beliff in the same religion you may think more alike.. but.. the most important things are learned through upbringing.. to respect and trust and cherish.. i definately would not presume to make my partner choose between me or your beliff's/God.. i would fully support my partner and accompany him thru everything.. as long as im given the same rights.. i see no major obstacle that cannot be overcome if both parties work at it.. no?

~Sick Lyn~

I'm sick.. AGAIN.. *pathetic look*.. i'm down n out with the works.. flu fever sore throat.. and guess wat the fun part is.. im leaving for a holiday in shanghai tomolo for about 6 days! *sheeeesh* talk about timing huh?! i was perfectly A-OK till Sun nite.. (i guess being out from 8.30am-10.30pm dint help) felt lethargic n tired so turned in early(much to my bro's suprise.. he wanted to take pics of me asleep at midnite! coz i'm usually still reading or online or something.. ) anyway.. dint get a goodnites sleep coz felt clammy and had a runny nose.. so woke up at 6-ish to take med.. and thennnn.. *doosh*.. knock-out for lyn.. mom's been taking care of Nat these 2 days and i cant go near her! =(
oh well.. been to the dr's yest n today(dint have the sorethroat yesterday so had to go back n get antibiotics) hopefully.. i'll be up and functioning with full capacity soon!! having an ulcer on the side of the tongue does not help the situation! *wrinkles nose*

~Because Nobody is Perfect~

nobody is perfect.. most of the time.. each individuals idiosyncrasies and lil peeves add to the character.. [note: MOST of the time.. there are some.. that are just downright irritating or bad.. (irritating can be.. forgetting/not replying emails, chucking fits for no reason, being childish, etc.. bad can be.. gambling.. womanizing.. excessive drinking.. etc..)].. it makes the person 'special' and unique.. (same word.. but u get the gist) and.. u love them.. failings and all.. I have never thought that I was anywhere near perfect.. quite the opposite actually.. most of the time, i'll be grappling some insecurity or something.. there are pet 'favs' that surface more often too.. haha.. sad.. one of them.. is the fear that im selfish and self-centered.. and worse of all.. i realise that the big green monster lurks beneath the surface as well.. i find myself sorta.. comparing? myself with other people or friends.. and thinking that.. im comparatively similar to(or sometimes when ego strikes.. nicer than!) them but.. why cant i 'get that/have ppl after me/have a bf/be like that/etc..' its bad.. its not that im not happy for them.. i am.. reallie.. but.. i think that.. what am i lacking.. why doesnt it happen to me.. that kinda stuff.. i try to stop.. but it bubbles up sometimes.. and.. its bad.. why issit always 'ME ME ME' (kinda like the seagulls in 'finding nemo' mine mine mine) dont get me wrong.. i am more than thankful for all the wonderful things in my life.. like my family, cousins, close frenz and the fact tat i live a cushy life w/o worrying about finances.. so why do i still keep comparing and feel the lack of?! i would love to pass it off as a human failing to always compare.. but thats just an excuse.. why cant i just accept wat i have.. be happy and work to get wat i want? why cant i accept the fact that some things.. maybe are not meant for me.. to let go.. that no matter how hard i try or wat i do.. it'll never be mine? why?! why do i keep stressing myself over sometimes trivial things.. so many whys and no answers to them.. only 'excuse' is..

because nobody is perfect..

~Busy busy~

been pretty busy the past few days.. which is good.. keeps my mind on track.. instead of wondering off in directions it cannot afford to go.. bro-in-law got a free room at the new KL Hilton last sat and since they've got lil nat.. they couldnt stay.. so.. my bro his gf(sun) n me.. yes yes.. i know.. BIIIIGG lampost(i actually made up a song.. adaption of im a little teapot! =P) i have to defend myself tho.. i dint wanan stay that nite(coz of that same reason) but my bro asked me not to be silly.. *shrugs* and since they were all having drinks after dinner at Zeta bar (the hilton bar).. there wasnt any transport home for me.. *angelic look* oh.. one of the features that Hilton has to offer.. (main selling feature beside being 5 star) is the kickass plasma tv in everyroom.. its HUGE!! i want one of those for xmas thanks! =P the rooms arent that big.. but compensated by the nice bathtub.. where i had a nice bubbly bath.. all while thinking of other 'activities' the bathtub can accomodate *angelic look* and i came up with some interesting possibilities yes? keke.. the bathroom is pretty awesome i must say.. they have the normal showers.. and one other one thats fixed on the ceiling.. and falls down like a waterfall.. n they put a lil chair that u can sit on.. n watch the lil tv thats in the bathroom.. ahh.. the luxuries money can buy yes?
oh.. dint like zeta bar.. too many old men.. *shudders* and by old.. i meant.. late 30s 40s.. eeeksz.. i guess guys would like it.. coz. when theres tat kinda aged men.. there usually are young sexily dressed women trying to get their attention.. (dint see that many there tat day tho)
oh.. watched Ocean's 12 today.. actually.. watched 11 in the afternoon coz could hardly remember it and then went to watch 12 at nite.. =P and.. in conclusion.. i liked it! both of it.. funny.. it helped that brad pitt was in it.. hes getting cuter!! dint reallie fancy him at first.. but now.. *drool* gimme a piece of that!! ahhh.. okay.. i'll end there.. coz.. hopefully.. if thats the last thing i think about.. then i'll have 'sweet' dreams of him.. =P

~Heroes~

reminder to self.. do not start playing any kind of comp games (especially not horeos or warcraft) at 12 in the morning.. coz.. u wont stop till like 3.30 when ur eyes are dying.. *yawn*
thurs and friday spent helping to look after nat.. friday nite spent at home.. nothing exciting achieved.. =P

~Left Behind?~

i hear the clock ticking.. i see my surroundings move and change constantly.. but.. time sometimes seem to be at a standstill.. i watch in fascination.. the constant buzz of activity.. the way people grow or change.. but.. standing still on my own.. stuck in a moment.. i seemed to get left behind..

i dread feeling this sense of regret.. of 'what ifs'.. of longing.. my heart refuses to listen to my mind and let bygones be..

~Dreams~

sometimes i dont know which is worse.. dreams.. or rather nitemares that play on your insecurities making u doubt urself and things that happened.. or dreams that prey on your deepest hopes and desires and give you false hope..
seriously.. in the past 2 days i've encountered both.. and.. argh.. it gets to me.. both of them!! the dreams were so real.. i could feel all the emotions.. and i wake up remembering it all.. i cant seem to shake the lingering emotions off.. i need nice sweet dreams that would bring smiles.. not dreams that remind me of something i need to let go off..

~Natalie~

have i mentioned that my lil niece is simply ADORABLE?! *gush*.. at the moment she still has very little and short hair.. so looks abit boyish.. but her eyes are SO BIG.. and she looks at you if u talk to her.. abit spoilt as in she has to be carried alot.. but.. so cuteeeeeeee.. and she makes little noises (ie trying to talk to u) and blows bubbles to entertain herself.. kekeke.. and she gets engrossed watching the tv.. mouth hangs open.. keke.. KAWAII!!!! took quite a few photos of her with my phone.. will post it up once i get it uploaded.. oh.. cute is one thing.. pretty tiring to look after her tho.. my poor mom.. i dunno how she manages on her own.. ah well.. my 'job' is to help her now that im ard! =P

~Bowling~

my bowling skill.. like my pool skill.. has alot to be desired.. and i mean ALOTTTTT.. its horrifying.. okay.. in my whole life.. i think i've been bowling maybe.. three or four times? but that doesent excuse the embarrassing zeros!! goodness.. the brain computes wat its supposed to do but the hand refuses to follow instructions!! pathetic.. im not even going to mention the scores!!humph!! and my little finger hurts for some reason.. poor lil finger.. *sniff* oh well.. if i get dragged to go with my sis again.. i can only IMPROVE my so called skill rite? well.. i certainly hope so!! haha.. dowan to embarrass myself too much if i go with frenz.. yes?

~Spoilt Little Girl~

okay.. im not so little anymore.. but i think i lead a pretty spoilt life.. not to the point of a lifestyle like those debuntes and rich brats of coz.. keke.. but.. sheltered and cushioned enuff life.. i've never had to work.. if i reallie wanted anything.. i could get it with minimal begging or fuss.. within reason of course.. when im back home.. i survive on an allowance from parents n siblings that amounts to more than i could earn if i worked part time(in mal).. and food is usually covered.. i guess my only 'job' is to keep my mom company.. and help around the house.. and now.. helping to take care of the lil monster.. so being home usually means i spend the day with my mom.. have dinner at home.. then meet up with my frenz.. dont get me wrong.. im DEFINATELY NOT complaining.. i'm just.. thankful.. very.. i have a family that loves me and i never have to ever worry about finances.. i have many wonderful frenz that put up with all my crap.. all in all.. im blessed.. more than i deserve.. all that is missing.. is a guy that loves me to death *angelic look* then life would be .. perfect.. but well.. we cant have everything can we?

~Home~

home.. im home.. i think that i have not reallie absorbed that fact yet.. well.. getting woken up like 3 times in the middle of the night/early morning by bro's movements is a sure sign i dont have my own room anymore.. and sherry making noise outside.. [esh].. but.. i dunno.. my head is still reeling from the fact that.. this time.. i could have been back for good.. and actually.. that may still happen.. i havent been accepted for masters yet.. my blur case brother misread the letter they sent thinking that it was an offer letter.. but.. it wasnt.. it was just a confirmation of application receipt.. and here i am.. nicely telling my frenz that I GOT ITTT.. *shy*.. yeah.. so .. i might not get it.. and i might have to come back for good.. i reallie cant imagine that.. i cant imagine leaving the place that i've kinda called home for the past 4 years.. my apartment has seen me thru countless memories.. friends hanging out.. staying over.. the main backdrop of my own sweet but tragic romance.. my place of refuge.. dinners.. drinking parties..so many many things.. if i just close my eyes and think.. there is not one single part of my small apartment that does hold a sweet memory.. (bedroom included *wink*)

ah well.. home is where the heart is.. and my heart is alwiz and foremost with my family.. so even if i do eventuall stay in syd.. i will alwiz make visits back here.. coz i dont think i can live without the love and support of my family.. and close frenz.. i would just shrivel up n die i reckon!